Theology I: On God

Sitting here with wine in hand and thinking of my opening has made me realize just how poor a position I am in to be writing this. On God. This isn't showing up to a gun fight with a butter knife, this is showing up to the Normandy Landings naked, holding my dick in my hand. Obviously this is not a subject about which one has static, unchanging opinions. Therefore I think the best way to go about this is to post whatever I think is best now and in the future I will add more, and perhaps change my position. Everything stays, and edits will be marked as such. Before I begin, an important note: I don't read theology. Very intentionally so. For one, it's hard. But more importantly I think that it is important for me to read the Bible, which I am doing, before I read interpretations of it. I would prefer to finish my study of the Bible, form my own opinions, and then read the opinions of others. I will undoubtedly be posing questions and making statements about which innumerable volumes have already been written, but allow me this ignorant indulgence. -------------- God. The Father. Creator. Author of all things. Alpha and Omega. Why do I believe? What prompted my belief? What does God do now? In response to the first two questions, I don't know. How fabulously underwhelming an answer is that? But it's true, I don't. I have long believed in God. When I was younger with a much shorter temper, I would yell at him for inane and trivial things. I was an insufferable child. But I would also pray for those I loved. I prayed for my family's safety and happiness and I prayed for sick relations, in particular a woman named Gina (not her real name). I remember being very proud when my mother would tell me she passed along my prayers to a grateful Gina. She ended up recovering, thankfully. This ties in nicely with the third question, but let us not move so quickly. I remember I would lie down on the floor in the shape of a cross, somehow thinking that would make my prayers more effective or bring me closer to God. A silly idea, I know. It doesn't matter where you are, or how you do it. One can pray just as effectively in church, at home, on a mountain, in traffic. One of the reasons I seldom go to church is that I don't think one needs to be in a particular location to communicate with our Father. But that's a topic for another blog. I said it to start and I'll say it again: I don't fully know why I believe. I just always have, and when I read the Bible it rang particularly true. I know it, I know it in my bones. I have faith. Simple as that. People mock faith all the time, of course. I don't have a litany of experiments and peer reviewed papers to back myself up, that is true. But I find nothing wrong with that. It does not bother me. One of the central elements in Christianity is struggle. Struggle against evil, struggle against ourselves, struggle against one another. We know evil exists, we know that there is true wickedness. But we struggle to believe in goodness, light, and God. Faith is supposed to be hard, it makes sense that the first step, belief, may be the hardest of all. Because I do have low moments, I do have doubts. I struggle with myself to eliminate those doubts but I have them regardless. But through that struggle I grow as a person and my faith is strengthened. So what does God do on a daily basis? Does he perform miracles? Did he heal Gina? Did he create all life on Earth as it is? Allow me to begin my answering the last question: no. Perhaps a topic for another blog post but in short: evolution is real, science is all real and so on. Science is the mechanism by which God created and maintains the Universe. We will not necessarily see his actions as miraculous because of the very fact that he does them. By definition he works in accordance with the laws of nature because he wrote those laws. God doesn't operate through fairy dust. And I firmly believe that the promotion of science and learning about how God's creation works is a noble goal. He created the world for us, it is imperative that we learn about it and maintain it. So how does God operate on a daily basis? Does he heal the sick and wounded? Does he help my favorite sports team win? Does he help us individually with our struggles with people, vice, and the like? This question always runs into very tricky territory. Critics will point out that it makes no logical sense for God to step in and heal one person while thousands more die in agony. It is silly for us to think that he helps someone with their project at work while the Holocaust saw the extermination of millions. Sure, God helped your team win. Now explain why he lets thousands of children starve. Others may retort that he does it for those who ask and are righteous, or whom he has chosen. Others rely upon the old standby, God operates in mysterious ways. In my view, I think that occasionally the Lord does interfere in the lives of us mortals. The question of why some get miracles and others get to die horribly is one I shall address later, probably next Theology post, about why evil exists. I cannot provide a set logic as to when he may or may not interfere in our lives, I don't even think we would notice most times. The Lord may have a plan, but I see no reason why it is so detailed as to dictate every aspect of our lives every day. Save for minor interferences, I believe God lets us live by ourselves. The sufferings of even the level of the Holocaust are but fleeting memories, fever dreams, in the fullness of time in God's Kingdom. I don't read theology as I noted, but I have read a little CS Lewis. In his book, the Great Divorce, he has a great image of hell being a vast, grey city that is the size of a microbe on a blade of grass in heaven. The evils on this Earth allow us to overcome them and grow as people. Without struggle, what is life? Is it not the highest of pleasures to have struggled mightily against an obstacle and succeeded? It is not the height of Godliness to have struggled mightily against the evil on this Earth and won, not just winning but winning in God and through Faith? Evil serves a purpose, like a raspy voiced European terrorist in a Die Hard movie, it is there to be defeated. Without it, we have no anvil against which to sharpen the Sword of the Spirit, the helmet of salvation, the Full Armor of God. In the Bible, Jesus is betrayed and the Romans come to arrest him. One of his disciples draws his sword and strikes at them, cutting some guy's ear. Jesus turns to him and harshly rebukes him saying, in essence, "Sheathe your sword! Of course if I wanted to I could call down the mighty Host of Heaven and turn this city into a blasted hell-scape with a thought. But I don't want to. This must happen." But this is a topic for another day. Doubtless I will have more posts on the nature of God, but I want to get this one out there for now.

Introduction

Well, this is it. My blog. To be upfront, I don't like the idea of a blog. It feels arrogant and self-indulgent. People generally don't care what I have to say, outside a few dozen people in DC and Florida. And yet here I am, preparing to inflict my opinions on sports, Christian theology, politics, science, and everything in between, on the world at large. Why do it, then? Well, to be honest I kind of view this as my personal journal. I've tried keeping them on physical paper or word documents before but it never worked. I got bored. I think the problem rested with the fact that I just tried to recount my daily schedule and what happened to me, which was not a very good read; I also did not enjoy having to recount my whole day to a blank piece of paper. I know my day, journal, I was just there. So instead this will serve as kind of an outlet for various thought I have on whatever issues interest me. Perhaps commentary on current politics, or I'm sure that numerous posts will deal with my thoughts on my faith. I'm sure I will have posts complaining about the Twins and Vikings as well. For whom am I writing this? Myself, to be honest. I seriously doubt that anyone besides yours truly will ever come across this blog, though I suppose its fine if someone does. That thought is probably one thing that will help me keep posting, though I don't find it particularly appealing. I am writing this for myself, I think it will be interesting to see my thoughts on various issues as be able to look back at them. Hello, future Sam. This is our blog. I hope you enjoy and my current self doesn't embarrass my future self too much. I think I shall begin work on my first real post. I would pour myself some scotch but I am out, so wine it is.